Moving soon?

Again, a very long time between posts for which I apologise. I've been busy wrestling with a difficult decision to move as the smallholding is much too big for one person to manage. As you can image it has taken a lot of effort to get to this point.

There is a buyer and we are currently waiting on the bank to say 'yes' to the loan.

So I am still in an 'inbetween' place but my creative juices have been running and I've made quite a few pieces of jewellery most of which I have not listed on my sales site. So I'll share a few of my favourites with you on this blog. You can see all of them on my flickr account.

If you are interested in any of the designs featured here or on my flickr account please feel free to contact me. I am not planning on listing much on my website or Etsy shop until I've moved (unless that is substantially delayed). Sadly, I no longer have any items at Rackenford Village Shop. I didn't have the energy to develop an earring range at the time the new space came up. And wouldn't you know it, once I'd made that decision I had a burst of earring centred creativity most of which you can see on my flickr!

Take care and many thanks to those of you who have sent me public and private messages of support and love. I greatly appreciate them.

All the best

Michele

Somewhere inbetween

Such a long time since my last post! Reasons? Loads I suppose but the most honest one is I am somewhere inbetween lives and I don't know the destination which means I am doing a lot of not much of anything.

I have made a few jewellery pieces on commission which were very satisfying from the emotional point of view. I enjoyed transforming a unloved inherited piece of jewellery from a beloved relative into something cherished for two friends of long standing.

I've even treated myself to a new wire pattern and created a bracelet in copper. If I could never get the 'zen' of weeding, I do get the 'zen' of wirework. Deep concentration which transfigures me from the wounded and spooked animal into someone who almost looks like the me I was. I enjoy the escape however shortlived.

I've assembled the components to incorporate brass into my artglass and have umpteen potential projects to get on with. But I can't seem to start any of them.

A lot of waiting for things to happen. The guttering needs to be replaced/repaired and I'm waiting for two firms to quote for the work. The damp causing disused chimney stack awaits demolition. Simple things that I am reasonably happy to wait a reasonable time to be completed. It is kind of nice to have that too too small sum of money still in the account performing as 'security blanket' for a little while longer.

So Hedgelands will be repaired where it needs it most soon. But the internal debate about how long can I stay here, do I want to stay here tears round my mind like a tornado. What would anyone see when this wild debate is going on - I'm watching tv probably, or trying to take stock of the jewellery (I still haven't been settled enough to start), or maybe posting on one of the bead/jewellery boards.

Grief, loss, bereavement - deceptively calm words for describing a state of sorrow, distraction, struggle to remain positive, feeling a large part of yourself is lost, knowing that the future is altered forever in a way that you can never make right but must accept, decisions become nearly impossible including little ones like 'what to have for dinner', impatience struggling with the knowledge that time must be given over. . . I could go on but sometimes you have to give yourself a break.

At some point the heart and mind remind you of that promise you made 'to take care of myself, enjoy life and be happy'. I have won a few battles. Time doesn't heal the loss but with time I cope (don't ask me whether I cope well or not as I have no idea).

Anyway, I've posted a few images of recent creations which I have yet to add to my website or etsy shop. You can see more and bigger images on my flickr.

Michele

First Fair of the Season

A big thank you to all those lovely people who visited the Jewellery Fair at the Chapter House Cathedral Green, Exeter. I also want to say special thanks to several of the other exhibitors for their conversation, kindness and help in getting me through this first event of the season without Steve.

I must confess I was very tempted to stay at home even after driving myself nearly mad getting the new style display up and running. Sorry no images of this - I had enough difficulty getting myself to the event and just plain forgot to bring the camera. It was an improvement on previous styles but I wonder whether the raked style is really an effective sales style in every case. Anyway with one tweak (removed a spin rack) I improved the look immensely but now have to find a way to show off those particular treasures.

Images: Bunch of Dichroic Glass Pendants and Keyrings made with artisan made glass beads (including a couple of whoppers that feel wonderful in the hand!). I thought these would sell but small stocking stuffer gifts were not on the pressie lists yesterday. (Dark and mysterious round art bead celtic cross keyring is spoken for).

More Events

I will be donating a selection of small Christmas star suncatcher/ornaments to Rackenford Village Shop for their Auction of Promises on 21 November 2008. Not sure if I will be there myself but all bids will be most welcome and will help support a community shop and local events for young and older alike.

Image - Hanging stars: example of Christmas star designs. I will be donating four small versions in clear frost, purple two tone, green and amber which will be light enough to hang on the tree.

Image: In hand - the 4 glass stars that I will be donating to the auction of promises 21 November 2008 Rackenford Village Shop.

I will also be supporting a Christmas fair in aid of Shopmobility Tiverton and District at St Georges Church Tiverton (a short walk from the multi-storey car park and Marks and Spencer). I don't have an exact date yet but it is early December.

Other News

Sadly, Hedgelands (the house and gardens) was neglected during the last few years and I've been rather distracted in finding people to help me put a few things right. I'm hoping to have someone come in and clear the man-eating brambles to the side of the house and complete a task I started a long time ago but didn't finish. Also hoping to have the guttering and associated wooden facias, soffits and trim replaced. Most importantly getting a structural engineer in to determine whether an external chimney stack can be removed safely (it is a source of damp and ruination).

Image: The wall behind the 5 layers of heavy wallpaper that generations of occupiers used to try and paper over the damp caused by using modern gypsum on cob and lime rendered walls. The darker bit is the cob and the lighter stuff is the layers of lime render. Lesson - Wall paper and cob do not get on well. It appears that the chimney stack behind is possible pulling away from the wall and water is getting behind it.

So all of that is in the pipeline and I feel much more relaxed about these few things. There is still a long way to go but if I achieve these improvements I will feel I've achieved much. Socks of course takes no notice and contentedly sleeps on. Oh to be a cat!

M

Image at top: Hedgelands Autumn colours, the view from the office window.

One month on

Thank you so much for your messages during this difficult time. I have to say that I am finding it harder at the moment which I gather is normal. Steve was very much the centre of my life and any activity connected to stained glass and jewellery design is due to his generousity of spirit.

I have a table sale (Fun and Frolics Day) to attend on 20 September in Rackenford Devon (just up the link road from Tiverton) between 2-5 pm. Of course with the rain there is a small chance it might not happen but I'm getting the display together and adding some new jewellery items.

I am still mulling over what to do with Steve's blog. I have to say that I feel sick when I look at it for any length of time even though I know I will love reading it in years to come. One of the ideas I'm playing with is posting up images of the garden's 'restoration'. If you have any views on this, let me know.

For now I leave you with a few images I've taken recently. Some are a bit depressing and pretty much are a reflection of the devastation Steve's illness created. Others are much more uplifting.

Images explained

Top image: View from the office - well this is only the part of the garden immediately around the house. There is a further hundred metres of garden beyond those back trees. Happily, Steve's Dad will be helping me to buy in the equipment and muscle necessary to restore and maintain it. Of course the garden will need to be simplified in the lower sections but this is something that Steve and I discussed so I feel happy with what I'm planning to do there.

Second image: Socks dozing - Socks has taken Steve's death rather badly and is very vocal in the office which still feels like Steve's place. I'm having trouble tidying things up. I'm not very domesticated and also it feels like I'm tidying Steve out of my life which I can't really face.

Third image: Some jewellery - Dichroic glass pendant and very lovely one at that. Bought before Steve died. I have a small batch of artisan made dichroic glass cabs made into pendants to be added to my main site. You will notice that my Etsy shop is on vacation at the moment and will remain that way until I get a new credit card. No selling on Etsy for the time being but I'm sure I'll be buying supplies there as needed.

Fourth image: Clematis ?: I know that we bought this beautiful little clematis from Christopher Lloyd's Garden Great Dixter when Steve was well and the garden was looking wonderful. We planted it on a wigwam of bamboo poles near the hornbeam hedge but it never came up and we both had given it up for dead a long time ago. But here it is, scrambling on Buddleja 'Dartmoor'. I felt joy and then sadness when I saw this survivor. Sadly, I can't identify it in Steve's planting notebook so it will have to remain nameless for the time being.

Fifth image: Buddleja 'Dartmoor' with friends - this is my favourite buddleja. It has a lovely delicate weeping habit and long sprays of blossom and, of course, the butterflies and bees love it.

Sixth image: Frequent visitor - Deer, this year's young one. I'm not sure of the species though as they are quite small and I haven't seen a white flash on the tail yet. Probably a roe deer but don't quote me on that. This little one is about 3 metres from the lounge windows. They love bind weed leaves and so I don't shoo them away. It was interesting to note that they were much more nervous after I had done a token bit of grass tidying in that little lawn area so the scent of people even several hours later is enough to spook them.

Hopefully, I will feel a bit more inspired to update my blog in the near future.

Michele

Tribute to a loving husband & best friend

I can scarcely believe that it has been just over two weeks since Steve died. He had been unwell for several years but his death was unexpected and has been a great shock to his family and friends.

He was my very best friend and I will find life without him difficult. But he loved me very much and when he was deeply concerned that his illness might take a turn for the worse he made me promise that I would try to be happy, have fun and take care of myself should anything happen to him. I will certainly try to take care of myself and hope that I am able to find some peace in my heart in the middle distance. I know he his no longer in pain and did not suffer at the end. He died in his sleep at Hedgelands, a place he loved. Throughout his illness I made a point of letting him know at ridiculously regular intervals how much I loved him.

In truth I have to give Steve the credit for encouraging me to take up stained glass as an activity that became a passion. He supported me whole-heartedly and was generous with his praise but only if he meant it. I certainly will continue to create art glass pieces and jewellery in the future. Steve knew how much I enjoyed the creative process and would be saddened if I gave it up entirely.

He was very protective of me and when he found people were stealing the content of my blog he found out how to get those spam blogs shut down. The effort needed for him to do this was considerable but he did this for me. I am pleased to say that those spam blogs that we reported have been taken down. Sadly, Stevie didn't live to learn about this tiny victory.

We held his memorial service yesterday. He was such an incredibly intelligent, sensitive, loyal and gifted person that I was daunted by the responsibility of arranging with Steve's Father's help a service that would do his too short life justice. In the end, I'm afraid I relied on Steve himself to guide me in the choices I made.

Steve left me and his family and friends a wonderful gift - his blog - the doggerels bollocks- I have known Steve over 23 years and to discover this past year that he, to go with all of his other incredible gifts, was also a poet with a sense of humour was heartening and surprising. I was grateful for the focus it gave him when his spirit was at a low ebb. I am humbled and proud of what he achieved despite the great pain and discomfort his illness inflicted on him every minute of every day.

He would have been touched and surprised by the tributes he received publicly and privately. I have found the kindness of people overwhelming and a comfort.

I was the luckiest girl alive to meet, fall in love with and marry such an incredible man. I've had 23 wonderful years with Steve and I shall miss him terribly.

In loving memory

of the doggerelist who died today.

The Deed is Done!

Just a note to say that DH was a gem and went through all my posts and a few had already been taken down so there were just the six to report to Google.

It took several hours of most DH hard work whilst I played around in the bead room (one of my creation stations). Once he had found the links, I then come in and put the information into a letter for Google. So yesterday evening we emailed the list of my blog posts that had been misappropriated.

From the timings on the spam blogs and reading on the forum of his own blog providers, DH reckons that the scraping is done by bot. The bots scan for the keywords (labels) and then automatically import the blog post. I am rather haphazard at putting labels on my posts but all of the posts that were scraped do have labels. Not all of the posts with labels were scraped.

Another positive development seems to be that Google is taking down spam blogs but they are also getting legitimate blogs as well. If you post a lot quickly you may fall foul or if you import a load of other people's posts you may come unstuck.

So I'm back and will try to bring you up to speed with my artistic endeavours.

About the images:

Top - Stained Hearts No. 1 - Polymer clay, sterling silver

Middle - Map of the World necklace - Mixed media necklace featuring my own polymer clay beads, ceramic beads, natural leather cord and sterling silver

Third image - Starless (and Bible Black). This is the design that got me into exploring polymer clay as a medium. Focal beads are my own, haematite and swarovski crystals, sterling silver.

Making my own beads and pendants

You see I'm a bit besotted with polymer clay at the moment and it takes ages to complete each piece. It is very interesting to see how the process of making jewellery changes once you have to create the main elements in a piece.

I'll leave you with an image or two, but will start a fresh post (hopefully in the next few days) to share.