Tribute to a loving husband & best friend

I can scarcely believe that it has been just over two weeks since Steve died. He had been unwell for several years but his death was unexpected and has been a great shock to his family and friends.

He was my very best friend and I will find life without him difficult. But he loved me very much and when he was deeply concerned that his illness might take a turn for the worse he made me promise that I would try to be happy, have fun and take care of myself should anything happen to him. I will certainly try to take care of myself and hope that I am able to find some peace in my heart in the middle distance. I know he his no longer in pain and did not suffer at the end. He died in his sleep at Hedgelands, a place he loved. Throughout his illness I made a point of letting him know at ridiculously regular intervals how much I loved him.

In truth I have to give Steve the credit for encouraging me to take up stained glass as an activity that became a passion. He supported me whole-heartedly and was generous with his praise but only if he meant it. I certainly will continue to create art glass pieces and jewellery in the future. Steve knew how much I enjoyed the creative process and would be saddened if I gave it up entirely.

He was very protective of me and when he found people were stealing the content of my blog he found out how to get those spam blogs shut down. The effort needed for him to do this was considerable but he did this for me. I am pleased to say that those spam blogs that we reported have been taken down. Sadly, Stevie didn't live to learn about this tiny victory.

We held his memorial service yesterday. He was such an incredibly intelligent, sensitive, loyal and gifted person that I was daunted by the responsibility of arranging with Steve's Father's help a service that would do his too short life justice. In the end, I'm afraid I relied on Steve himself to guide me in the choices I made.

Steve left me and his family and friends a wonderful gift - his blog - the doggerels bollocks- I have known Steve over 23 years and to discover this past year that he, to go with all of his other incredible gifts, was also a poet with a sense of humour was heartening and surprising. I was grateful for the focus it gave him when his spirit was at a low ebb. I am humbled and proud of what he achieved despite the great pain and discomfort his illness inflicted on him every minute of every day.

He would have been touched and surprised by the tributes he received publicly and privately. I have found the kindness of people overwhelming and a comfort.

I was the luckiest girl alive to meet, fall in love with and marry such an incredible man. I've had 23 wonderful years with Steve and I shall miss him terribly.